


In This Mad, Mad World

by orphan_account



Series: Jegulus Fest [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Voldemort, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, MWPP, Marauders era, Pining, Squib Regulus, summer before seventh year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 03:50:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6640276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sirius confesses he has a family secret, James is startled and hurt to learn his best friend has kept it from him all these years.  The family shame.  A brother who was born a squib.  When the Marauders agree to spend the summer at Grimmauld Place whilst Sirius' parents are away, everything changes for James Potter--especially after he meets Regulus Black.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In This Mad, Mad World

**Author's Note:**

> So this was for the anon request that one of them be a squib for my Jegulus fest.
> 
> I'll be posting one per day of the 12 requests I got, and I'm very excited because there's no nearly enough Jegulus fluff out there. No angst! *throws confetti*
> 
> In most of these fics, I've adjusted Regulus' age so he's only a year younger than Sirius and James, so in this fic, James is seventeen, Regulus is sixteen.

James frowned at Sirius, watching his best mate gnawing on his thumbnail, wincing because he’d bit it nearly down to the quick, and he shook his head. “Pads?”

Sirius glanced up, almost startled. “What?”

James blinked at the somewhat harsh tone, and he lifted a brow. “Mate, you seem…tense. Is there something…?”

“No, James,” Sirius all-but shouted. “You know, not everyone has some deep-dark secret they’re keeping, okay? Not everyone…”

Sirius quieted when Remus reached over, putting his hand on Sirius’ knee. “Not everyone shouts at their best mate for noticing something’s clearly wrong.”

Sirius’ eyes narrowed on his boyfriend, glowering, but eventually he shook his head and sighed. “Look it’s…I’m really glad you’re coming with me for the hols. No one’s going to be round and it’ll be…well…” Sirius swallowed, glancing out the window at the scenery passing. There was still a few hours before they reached King’s Cross, and Sirius looked like he was going to be sick.

“Look, you can tell us,” James said carefully. “I mean, short of you saying you’ve got a werewolf locked in your attic…”

The laugh Sirius gave was too high, far too tense, and the three marauders shared a quick look before turning their attention back to Sirius. Remus took his hand, playing with his fingers as Sirius took a few, calming breaths.

“I have a brother,” he eventually blurted.

The silence that settled in the compartment was a startled one, confused, maybe even worried a bit. James had been closest to Sirius, especially the first three years of Hogwarts, so to hear something like this…

“Padfoot,” James said carefully, wondering maybe if Sirius had got into one of their dodgy prank potions, “what erm…what do you mean you have a brother?”

“What the hell else would something like that mean, Prongs?” Sirius snapped. “I have a brother. My disgusting parents shagged once more after I was born and poof, fucking baby boy.”

James swallowed, glancing at Remus who looked just as stunned, and he tried not to be angry with his best mate who was clearly upset. “He erm…does he go? To Hogwarts?”

“No,” Sirius bit.

“Is he at Durmstrang?” Remus asked quietly.

Sirius scoffed, turning his gaze out the window. “No. He’s not.”

“Beauxbatons? Or…”

“No!” Sirius shouted, clenching his hands into fists. “He doesn’t go anywhere because he’s a bloody Squib, okay?”

James hadn’t been sure Sirius could have stunned them more than the brother revelation. Then…this. He blinked, then pulled off his glasses and rubbed them on the edge of his robes. “So he’s…I mean. Like…like Filch…”

“He’s not like Filch!” Sirius shouted.

James reared back, and Remus immediately began to rub soothing circles round Sirius’ back. “Of course he’s not like Filch. James didn’t mean it like that, did you?”

Clearing his throat, James nodded, though he had meant it like that. He knew Squibs and the ones forced to stay in the magical world were angry and bitter and outcasts. Sirius’ parents were bad enough with Sirius being a Gryffindor—he couldn’t begin to imagine what this poor boy had to endure.

“I’m sure he’s great,” James said after a moment.

“How old is he?” Peter piped up, speaking for the first time.

Sirius turned threatening eyes between all his mates. “He’s sixteen. He’ll be seventeen in December. He doesn’t leave the house, okay? Mother and Father forbade it. So he’s with Kreacher all day, ever day. It was…it was alright, you know? When I was home and not at Hogwarts but…”

James well-remembered the absolute distress Sirius suffered the first few weeks of their first year. But Sirius had never said why he was sending so many letters, or why he woke up in the middle of the night with nightmares about his parents hurting someone. Eventually James chalked it up to Sirius’ parents being rubbish, but it all made sense. It made so much sense.

“Look,” James said, leaning forward. “We’re best mates with a werewolf and you know my parents. I mean, nearly all of dad’s friends are muggle, or muggle-born. So what if he’s not got magic, yeah?”

Sirius blinked, then let out a slow breath. “It’s only…he hasn’t interacted with people. Much. Besides me. My parents hate him, and it’s just him and that sodding Elf and I just…I wanted to warn you. Because my parents aren’t going to be back until August and it’s my duty to mind him and…I don’t want you to think he’s…”

James shook his head. “I’m excited to meet him. What’s he called?”

“Regulus,” Sirius said, this time very quiet. He leant into Remus and closed his eyes. “His name is Regulus.”

*** 

Their arrival in London was different than James thought it was going to be. Getting permission to stay with Sirius for most of the summer had been difficult enough, and exciting. At seventeen, just before their final year, James was looking forward to the prospect of being able to use magic outside of school, to be able to apparate and behave like proper adults. Or close to it.

He envisioned late nights with firewhiskey and doing mad things, maybe sending owls for Evans who—although it had become clear she and James were never going to make it work—had got friendly with them all.

James did not expect to have a sudden brother revealed. A squib at that, and one they would be responsible caring for.

James had only seen the inside of Grimmauld Place once, and it had been…an experience. Dark, terrifying, portraits on the wall spouting pureblooded nonsense. James had been in the foyer for all of a minute and was called a blood traitor no less than nine times.

How could a squib grow up round that?

The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black.

He had to wonder why they even kept the boy, though he supposed they wouldn’t have known straight away. Not until it was too late. But even then, he wouldn’t have put it past Sirius’ family to construct a convenient ‘accident’ to dispose of him.

It made James feel ill, but also worried.

What type of person would that house create, really? Especially if he was alone for most of the year without Sirius to protect him.

James said very little as they apparated to the front gates. The building shifted as they arrived, Sirius activating the charm to let them pass through, and they went in through the gate, up to the door which Sirius opened by pressing his palm to the wood just under the number twelve.

There was a low, tight voice that spoke the moment they were inside. “Master Sirius has arrived with his blood traitor friends. And the half-bloods. If only the Mistress would tell him no more often.”

“Shut up, Kreacher,” Sirius snarled, giving a swift kick at the Elf.

James knew that for all his parents hated the fact that Sirius had been born into Gryffindor, and had defied their pureblood logic, they only had one heir, and hoped they could at least marry him off before it got too bad. Little did they know about the werewolf boyfriend, but Sirius planned to be away from them before any damage could be done.

For now, he was spoilt as ever, and as bitter as ever.

“Let’s erm…go up to my room. There’s space for everyone there.” Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and hurried ahead, James walking beside Peter who looked mildly terrified to be there.

“Alright?” James asked.

Peter shrugged. “Just…bit weird, innit? Sirius with a brother? A squib?”

James scrubbed his face. “Yeah, it is. But with this family I suppose…” He didn’t really know what he supposed, so he trailed off, and Peter didn’t seem to mind.

They got to Sirius’ room, and he undid all of his charms, kicking the door open. Sirius’ room was a sight to behold. Muggle posters on the wall of men and women, scantily clad—most of them muggle bands and models. He had photos of the four of them, some of Marls and Lily, and Doracas and Mary, all pinned to the walls.

Things, James knew, to piss off his parents.

His bed was there, and Sirius quickly transfigured his desk and his trunk into two other beds for James and Peter. “That’ll do, eh?”

James tested the transfigured mattress, and shrugged. Not as good as his own, but with how distressed Sirius was, he felt obligated to be impressed. “It’s great.”

Sirius nodded, then ran his hand back through his hair. “Look. I’m going to erm. Erm. See Reg for a minute.”

“See if he wants to come meet us,” Remus said quietly. “No pranks, alright. Nothing like that. I’ve got chocolate frogs and James has butterbeer he nicked from Rosmerta last weekend.”

Sirius looked like he wanted to say something, but instead just nodded and shrugged. “Yeah. Yeah alright.” And then he was gone, closing the door hard behind him.

The moment it was shut, James turned to Remus. “You had no idea?”

Remus shook his head. “None, mate. I…I don’t even know what to think.” He eased himself down on Sirius’ bed and covered his face with his hands. “Merlin, imagine a kid growing up here without magic.”

James shuddered. “They’re awful enough to Padfoot. I just…I can’t even think what he’ll be like.”

“D’you think he goes to muggle school?” Peter wondered as he fished a liquorice wand out of his pocket and gnawed on the end. “Can you imagine Mrs Black taking a kid to a Muggle school? Or finding some way for that Elf to do it?”

James nearly laughed. “No way. There’s no way.”

*** 

When Sirius returned twenty minutes later, it was alone. “He’s not interested in coming out right now,” Sirius said, flopping next to Remus and laying his cheek on his boyfriend’s thigh. “Meeting people is…hard for him.”

James could tell by Sirius’ tone he wanted to drop it, so he brought up the Quidditch tickets they’d got for the next week’s match, and eventually the conversation got lighter. Regulus, at least in conversation, was forgotten, and things were fine.

Round tea, Sirius was whinging for food, and Peter suggested they get out of their robes and walk down for a take-away pizza. “It’ll be good to get away from this stuffy place,” he said, looking round for his jeans.

Sirius hesitated. “I can’t really…I shouldn’t leave him here. Regulus.”

James blinked. “I’ll stay. I’m well shattered from the ride and you can just tell him if he needs anything, he can fetch me. Or send Kreacher.”

Sirius hesitated, but Remus squeezed his thigh. “James’ll be nice.”

After a beat, Sirius shrugged. “Yeah, alright. Just…keep the mirror on you, yeah. In case you need me. Now that I can apparate, I can be back in a flash.”

James nodded. “It’s fine. Really.” The truth of it was, his curiosity was overwhelming and he was desperate to get a glimpse of him. Regulus Black, the hidden squib. He wanted to know everything about him, and there was an ache behind his ribs that Sirius—who knew every one of James’ secrets—had kept this.

Did he think James really would judge him? Or hate him? That he’d treat him poorly?

His reputation with Filch wasn’t great, but Filch hated the students and had done everything in his power to have the Marauders all expelled, so of course James wouldn’t be fond of that bitter old man. But this was Sirius’ brother, and really all he had right now in him was pity. Which probably was the worst thing he could have, but all the same, it was there.

Twenty minutes later, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had gone, and James was left lying on Sirius’ bed, staring up at a busty muggle woman leant over a motorbike. He stared up, wondering if that sort of image did anything for Sirius, who really had never showed any interest in anyone outside of Moony.

She was attractive, not nearly as good looking as Evans, but James’ tastes had always been rather fickle. Ages ago, long before Padfoot and Moony, James fancied his best mate briefly, though it hadn’t lasted. But he’d quickly come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t gender or hair colour or anything like that which caught his interest.

And the woman on the motorbike was…

Boring.

With a sigh, James pushed himself up on his elbows, then rummaged round for his muggle clothes. He wriggled out of his robes, then eased his jeans over his hips. They were unbuttoned, and he was bent over his trunk when suddenly there was a gasp from the doorway.

Spinning, James’ eyes fixed on a teen stood in the doorway. He was as tall, if not a bit taller than Sirius, wearing a white button-up shirt, black trousers, and hair falling elegantly over his left eye. He was the spit of Sirius, actually, in the face and the way he stood. The only difference was a slightly harder jaw, and his skin was pasty from the lack of sun.

Before James could say anything, however, he spun and rushed off. James scrambled into the corridor, grabbing onto the doorframe so he didn’t topple over. “Oy!” he called, just before the door at the far end slammed shut.

With a sigh, James turned, grabbing his t-shirt, and struggled into it as he marched toward the room. His hair a mess and glasses askew, he tried to right himself as he fixed his gaze on the plaque.

**Regulus Arcturus Black**

James ran his hand into his hair, giving it a ruffle as the other curled into a fist, and he knocked. When no answer came, he knocked again. “Hey er…Regulus,” the name sounded so foreign on his tongue, “my name’s James. Not sure if your brother told you about me but I’m his best mate and er…”

His words died off as the door cracked open, and Regulus’ pale face appeared. “Please go away,” he said, his voice like Sirius’ but much smaller.

James tried a friendly smile. “Look, I’m sorry if I scared you. Just…Sirius and the others went to get pizza and I offered to stay back. Was tired, you know.” He shrugged, feeling awkward talking to a half-face in the crack of a door.

“Okay.” Regulus pulled back, moving to shut the door, but James’ foot caught it, and he looked up with a glower to rival one of Sirius’ bests. “Stop it.”

“Look I swear I’m an alright bloke. Can I come in? I was hoping to meet you.”

Regulus’ eyes narrowed in defiance, but after a moment, he let the door open. Peering round him, James was almost startled to see such a difference between the pair. Where Sirius’ room was a shrine to all things that would piss off Walburga and Orion, the brother’s bedroom looked like what James imagined the Slytherin common room to resemble.

Everything was decorated in greens and silvers, the Black Family Crest painted above his bed with Toujours Pur under it. There was very little décor, aside from a bookshelf with neatly arranged tomes, and a writing desk with a quill, ink, and several sheets of parchment.

“Er. So.” James stepped in, ruffling his hair again, even as Regulus looked at him like he might be mad. “Nice to meet you.”

Regulus stared at him a while, then sighed. “Sirius didn’t tell you I existed, did he?”

James was so startled, he laughed, feeling a bit bad when the teen flinched. “Not until the train.”

There was a faint, pink blush that painted Regulus’ cheeks as he sauntered over to his bed and flopped down. “Not surprised, you know. He acts like he’s so much better than my parents, but he isn’t. Just because he wants to help me get out of here before…” Regulus swallowed thickly. “Doesn’t change the fact that he’s ashamed.”

“He’s not ashamed,” James said fiercely, making Regulus jump. He lowered his tone, and gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry it’s just…I think he was trying to protect you. From us.”

“Are you a bad person?” Regulus asked, eyeing James.

He blinked, then laughed again, but quietly. “I don’t think so, but I’ve been known to be a bit of an arse sometimes. Or well, I have been in the past. I’m trying to be better.”

“Do you think I’m a freak?” Regulus asked pointedly.

James was startled by the bold question, but he shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with being a muggle.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “I’m not though. A muggle. I’m a squib,” he spat the word like a curse, likely the way he’d heard it hurtled at him a thousand times. “The only hope is that my bloodline is strong enough that when I marry, I can produce a magical heir.”

“You’re…” James stopped, blinking. “You’re going to let your parents marry you off?”

Regulus shrugged. “Sirius says he’s going to take me with him when he leaves. But Sirius says a lot of things.”

“Mate,” James said, taking a few steps closer. “Don’t. Don’t let them do that. Magic isn’t everything.”

Regulus gave him a long stare before he answered. “In this house it is. As I’m constantly reminded. Every day.”

James felt his face go hot, then he took three steps toward the bed and held his hand out in front of Regulus. “We’re having a muggle holiday. So come on. Come to Sirius’ room. Pizza’s going to be here soon and Sirius thinks he can charm his telly to pick up the footie match. It’ll be good, and you’re joining in.”

Regulus gave James’ hand a withering stare, like it might be venomous, then slipped his very soft, very slender fingers into James’. Trying not to think about how good it felt—because where did that come from—James pulled Regulus to his feet and grinned. He slung his arm round the shorter teen’s shoulders and tugged him along.

“It’ll be great,” James said. “I promise.”

*** 

“Brighton?”

Sirius was staring at the small, muggle pamphlet advertising seaside cottages in the small town not too far outside of London. He had his arm round Remus’ waist, the other teen still a bit shaky from the moon, and Sirius looked exhausted from running round with the werewolf all night.

James had nicked the pamphlet from a storefront window when he and Regulus had combed the city for something to do, and he thought it was a brilliant idea. “I can go to Gringott’s and exchange my galleons. We can get this little cottage for the rest of the month. It’ll do everyone some good to get some sun.” When everyone looked a bit dubious, even Peter who was usually much more game to James’ plans, he sighed. “Regulus is on board. Aren’t you?”

Regulus, who had been spending more time with the Marauders, but was still very quiet and currently hunched over his breakfast, looked up with a grimace. “I don’t like the sea.”

“You’ve never been,” Sirius pointed out. He was finally used to seeing his brother getting along with his friends after the long weeks, but he was still a mixture of annoyed with him, and protective over him.

“See,” James said, tapping the pamphlet. “Come on. It’ll be great.”

“How do you propose we get there?” Remus asked. “All of us on the train?”

“I’ve got my bike,” Sirius said with a grin. “It’ll fit two comfortably.”

“I’m not sitting on your blasted bike for that long,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.

“We can apparate,” Peter suggested.

“Reggie can’t,” James said, dropping into the seat next to Regulus. “And none of us are good enough for side-along yet.”

“Plus he’s muggle and it’s a bit illegal,” Remus pointed out.

“We could fly,” James suggested, and dodged the bit of toast Remus threw at him. “What? It’s not because I’m broom-mad! It’s the quickest way to get there.”

“I think people might notice if five teens go hurtling through the sky in the middle of the day,” Remus pointed out. “And you’ve only got one cloak.”

James scratched his chin. “Fine. You three apparate. Reggie and I will take my broom and my cloak.”

“No,” Regulus and Sirius both chorused.

James huffed. “I’m a fucking brilliant flyer, and you all know it. Safest one in the room.”

“He is right,” Remus put in, and looked away from Sirius’ murderous glower. “It might be easier that way. And a holiday to the sea might actually be nice.”

Sirius’ shoulders sank down, and he put his face in the crook of Remus’ neck. “You think?”

James looked at Regulus, giving him his best puppy-dog eyes. “It’ll be brilliant, I swear. Have you been on a broom?”

Regulus snorted. “Do you think I’ve been on a broom, Potter?”

James laughed. “Then it’ll be a first, and your first with me will be ace. Sirius, come on. Let Moony get some sleep. Pete can sit with Reggie, and we can go get money exchanged.”

Sirius groaned, but let James drag him out the door to get started on their mad idea.

*** 

Stood at the corner between the street and Florean’s shop, Sirius eyed James over his mint and brownie cone. “Why are you doing this, Prongs?”

James glanced up from his salted toffee, and frowned. “Doing what? You’re the one that wanted ice cream.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “No. This. With the sea and the holiday and…Regulus.”

James felt his cheeks heat up a little, the nigglings of something stirring behind his ribs he’d been steadfastly ignoring for the last three weeks. “I don’t know what you’re on about.”

“Liar. Your eye does this little twitch when you’re lying,” Sirius pointed out. “And you know it.” He licked his lips. “James, I love my brother. I…I have to protect him, and if you think…”

“Hang on,” James said fiercely, “you’re the one that kept him a secret, Padfoot. And I think he’s really decent. You painted him out to be some recluse squib who can’t socialise and he isn’t.”

Sirius sighed. “I have to get him out. My parents are trying to marry him off to some cousin in hopes they’ll have a magical kid and I can’t let him get sucked into that. I want him out, James. Out of the wizarding world, and you’re…you’re James Potter. You’re a sodding pureblood and the sole heir to your family. Whatever you feel, you can’t…the two of you just…can’t.”

James’ jaw clenched. “Maybe you could let him decide that, Padfoot.”

“So you do fancy him?”

“I don’t know,” James barked, then his shoulders sagged. “At first I felt bad for him. Then he opened his mouth and he was…witty. And smart. And he doesn’t take shit and so. Maybe. Maybe I fancy him.”

Sirius scrubbed his face with his free hand, smearing a bit of chocolate on his cheek which James reached over with a licked thumb, and brushed away. “It’s not safe for him here. It never will be. If you…if you two want to make a go of it, would you actually leave the wizarding world for him?”

James raised a brow. “Your parents want to marry you off, Sirius. To produce another heir. And you’re planning to move in with your werewolf boyfriend. How’s that any different?”

“Because Regulus can’t protect himself from them,” Sirius said, though he was starting to look more and more unsure.

“I think you should give him more credit,” James said. “And maybe believe that it’s not just you anymore. I care. Remus cares. Pete cares. If you’d told us ages ago, it would have been the same.”

Sirius looked at his best mate for a long time, then tossed his cone into the bin and swiped his hands on his jeans. “Do you really mean it?”

“What? That I care? Or that I fancy him?”

“Both, I suppose,” Sirius said.

James swallowed, then shrugged. “I…both. I meant both. It’s not like it was with Evans, you know. It’s different, but it’s not _less_. And I think he might fancy me back. Or at least he cares. A little bit.”

Sirius sighed. “He does. He’s told me and I just…I don’t want him to get hurt. We still have a year left to go, Prongs. And that’s a long year for him to have to fend off my parents. He’s got no real way to do that.”

“He does,” James said. “You just have to let him know you trust him.”

*** 

Sirius, Remus, and Peter were long gone as James held his broom in his hand. He had the cloak draped over one shoulder, and he was looking at Regulus who had gone a bit green round the gills.

“There’s still time to take a train,” James said. “I have the mirror, I can let Sirius know and…”

“And what? Let him take the piss that I’m too scared of magic to go on a sodding broom?” Regulus bit. “Thank you but…”

“He wouldn’t, you know,” James said quietly. He leant his shoulder against the door, and looked at the younger Black. “No one would blame you for being nervous around magic.”

Regulus pinked. “It’s…I’m not nervous,” he said, running his hand through his hair. It shoved backward, dropping over his eye again, the back resting neatly just at the tops of his ears. “It’s just…I can’t control it. If something happens to you, the broom plummets. I don’t have magic to stay up in the air.”

James’ free hand reached out, almost involuntarily, and grabbed Regulus by the wrist, pulling him close. “I’m not going to fall off. And I’m not going to let you go. I swear.”

Regulus swallowed thickly. “Why are you so nice to me?”

James blinked, startled by the sudden question. “Why would I be nice to you?”

“Because I’m a squib,” Regulus bit. “And you’re a pureblood. And it doesn’t matter how much your family believes in equality or…or whatever rubbish they keep talking about. It doesn’t change the fact that we’re different. And always will be.”

James’ hand released Regulus’ wrist, only to draw up through Regulus’ soft hair, his knuckles brushing along his cheeks. “You know Moony? He’s half-blood. Dad’s a wizard, mum’s a muggle. They’re happy, they make it work, and the differences don’t matter. So why wouldn’t I care about you. Why would your lack of magic matter?”

“Because you deserve better. Someone who isn’t broken or…”

James’ hand went stiff, then grabbed Regulus round the back of the neck and tugged him forward. “I don’t think you’re broken,” he whispered fiercely, their faces too close to be just friendly. “You’re not. Being born without magic doesn’t mean you’re less, do you understand?”

“Try telling my parents that,” Regulus whispered back bitterly.

James’ hand moved to cup his cheek, thumb stroking along Regulus’ soft skin. “I don’t give a sod about your parents, okay? Their ideals are the things that are broken. I think you’re blood brilliant, and I don’t know what else I can do to convince you.”

For a moment, just the breath of a moment, James thought he might kiss him or…something. But it passed, and Regulus stepped back, and offered a small grin. “Okay. I’m sorry I just…”

“I get it,” James replied, his hand going to his own hair. “And it’s fine. Really. You’re allowed to feel shitty. Just…just know none of us buy into that rubbish. None of us.”

Regulus gave a shaky nod, then reached out for the door handle. “Let’s do this, then. But…please, please don’t let me fall.”

“Swear it,” James vowed. He positioned the broom between his legs, letting Regulus hold on behind him. He threw the cloak round them both, muttered a sticking charm to keep it from flying off. And as the door opened, he kicked off, and they shot into the air.

Regulus sucked in his breath, holding on tight, his face buried in the back of James’ cloak. James tugged Regulus tight with one hand, and sped up as they rocketed straight past the clouds. He’d always felt the most free in the sky, like he’d been born to do this, born to ride the air currents, and to do this with Regulus was…

He didn’t have words for it.

The air whipped past them, the land below rushing beneath their feet, and after some time, Regulus relaxed, even glancing round.

“They can’t see us at all?” he shouted over the wind.

James laughed, shaking his head. “Nope. We’re completely invisible.”

After a long moment, Regulus laughed too. “You’re right. This is brilliant.”

James felt his heart soar even as they did, following the path to the small seaside village where James hoped—if all went well—things would change between them.

*** 

James wasn’t entirely sure why he assumed Regulus would have a better grasp on muggle things, but it ended up with him panicking at the thought of operating muggle appliances and James trying to calm him down whilst begging Moony to sort out the electric kettle.

“It’s just electricity,” James said as he eased Regulus into the kitchen chair, pressing a cup of tea into his hands. “Honestly, it’s supposed to make that noise.”

Regulus was still pink in the face, looking down at the tea instead of at the wizards all trying not to laugh at his panic. “I’ve just…never seen anything like that before. The worst we have is that kettle from Narcissa that was charmed to insult me.”

James felt his insides twist. “It what?”

Sirius put his hand on Regulus’ shoulder. “She thought it would be funny.”

Running his hand into his hair, James shook his head. “Reggie, you want to go for a walk? Sirius, go give him some of your proper muggle clothes and we’re going to…to do something. Outside.”

Sirius nodded, giving James a careful look before drawing his brother up, and to the bedroom where Sirius had unceremoniously flung all their things into a giant pile. When the door shut, James scrubbed his face and let out a growl.

“His family is rubbish.”

“I know,” Remus said quietly, glancing over at Peter who was scribbling an owl to Lily and Marlene. “We were talking about it earlier. I can’t even imagine what he goes through.”

“He needs out of there. He can’t keep…they’re so…” James growled again, hating how he was reduced to sentence fragments. “I’d offer mine, but I don’t think he’d feel better, you know? Everything in my house is still magical and there’s no balance for him. You know he’s never even been to proper school? His parents have him tutored in magical theory.”

Peter looked up, a frown marring his face. “Maybe Moony’s parents could take him in?”

Remus lifted a brow. “I could ask, but I’m not entirely sure they’d go for it. Sirius and Reg, I mean. Sirius wants to just get a flat and put Reggie in it whilst we’re at Hogwarts.”

“With no one there to protect him?” James asked with a snort.

Remus shrugged. “I’ll talk to him about it. I’m sure mam would go for it. Having someone else round the house who understands what it’s like to be around magic but not part of it.”

“Could be good for him,” James mumbled. He couldn’t help himself from thinking about after Hogwarts. What if they all flatted together? Got a place in Muggle London, so no matter where they worked, Reg would feel safe. He would be surrounded by people who loved him, and people who were like him. Maybe get into one of those Muggle Uni’s and…

His thoughts were cut off when Sirius and Regulus came back into the room. The younger was wearing jeans now, along with a spare pair of Sirius’ boots, and a ripped Bowie shirt. Being that James had only ever seen him in robes and pressed trousers, it nearly took his breath away, and he had to take a moment to collect himself.

When he did, he caught Regulus blushing, and he glanced away. “We’ll sort out food, okay?”

Sirius gave him a knowing look, and rolled his eyes as he walked over to speak quietly. “Whatever you say, Prongs. Just…be careful out there. It’s against Muggle law to you know…be a pouf.”

James froze. “What?”

“Moony told me,” Sirius said. “Last summer when I stayed with him. We went out a couple of times and we had to be careful.”

James nearly blurted out something along the lines of muggle authorities not being able to touch him, and being able to just get away, but he remembered Regulus had no defence, so he nodded instead. “Yeah. Thanks mate.”

With that, he beckoned Regulus along, and they headed down the path toward the shops. There wasn’t much to do now that the pier had closed, but the beach still had a fair bit of people lounging in chairs, their feet spread out on the rocky shores. The weather was amiable, and though the sun was out and bright, a few clouds loomed off in the distance, promising an unusual summer rain.

James glanced over at Regulus a few times, moving so their hands brushed together once or twice, and he enjoyed the blush blooming on the other teen’s face. James wasn’t entirely good at this sort of thing. His only attempt to woo anyone was Evans, and it had failed spectacularly, with him at the tail end of unpleasant hexes and insults.

Eventually he’d given up—especially when she announced to the four teens she was dating Marlene and quite happy about it—and really no one had caught James’ fancy again. Until now. And it was ridiculous in a way. This was Sirius’ little brother, and one who was clearly in a bad way. But James couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach. The way his head spun a bit whenever Regulus smiled—properly smiled at him.

“Do you ever think what you might want to do,” James said as he led Regulus into one of the shops which had muggle sweets laid out in front, with food and produce toward the back. “You know, when you get away from Grimmauld place?”

Regulus shrugged. “Sirius used to sneak me books and magazines and everything. So I’d have some idea about what was out there. But I…I mean, I don’t know anything about muggles. I don’t know how their money works, how their jobs work. Anything I can’t do at home, Kreacher does for me and I feel like if I was out there, I’d drown.”

James’ fingers clenched, holding back his desire to pull Regulus closer. “What if…what if you could live somewhere for a while, whilst we’re still at school. And…and I dunno, learn stuff?”

“What do you mean?” Regulus asked. He stopped by a barrel of apples, and lifted one, giving it a sniff before putting a few into a sack. “Learn what stuff?”

“Muggle stuff. You could get tutored in proper muggle education, even. They have Universities where you could go to lectures and get a job.”

“How do you know all this stuff?” Regulus asked as they moved on to the dry pastas.

James laughed. “I was mad for this girl in my year, Lily…”

“Yeah, Sirius has whinged about her enough,” Regulus muttered.

James snorted as he added a few boxes of the pasta to their trolley. “Well she’s muggle-born, so I took muggle studies to try and impress her. Actually learnt a lot. It’s…I mean I reckon it seems a little scary but it’s something, you know?”

Regulus brushed his fingers back through his hair and pursed his lips, making James want to kiss him right there. “I should. I suppose I should. And sometimes I think I’d rather just let my parents marry me off and be done with it. I think I’ll be useless to anyone.”

James felt his back stiffen. “Please, please don’t say that. Please.”

“What’s it matter to you?” Regulus asked quietly. “Honestly, what does my future matter? Eventually you and Sirius are going to go off on your own, get a flat. You’ll end up some Quidditch player and he’ll do…who the bloody hell knows what and…”

“And what if I wanted you there, too?” James asked softly as they moved to get some juice. “Reggie what if…I mean. I mean you could get a job and live with us.”

Regulus shook his head. “It would be a liability.”

“Hope isn’t a liability,” James said, almost fierce. “Remus’ mum? She’s not. And you wouldn’t be.”

Regulus shrugged. “Can I think about it?”

James laughed, nudging him. “Don’t be a twat. Of course you can. I just…I like having you round is all.”

Regulus blushed again, but moved the topic on to something else as they finished up the shopping, and eventually wandered back to the cottage.

*** 

The dinner was a disaster until Lily showed up to take over, and she and Remus managed to save everything, though James was just getting ready to run out and find a curry shop or something to appease the hungry crowed.

But eventually they had a mostly home-cooked meal, beers all round, and conversation. They kept the magic to a minimum, and before long they were all slightly pissed, lying round the furniture with the terrace door open.

Sirius had his head pillowed on Moony’s thigh, a cigarette clenched between his teeth, recounting some prank they’d done on the Slytherins right before term ended. Lily was giggling between trying to tell Sirius off, and Marlene was drunkenly attempting to plait her hair. Peter was faffing about with the turntable, trying to ignore Sirius’ shouting that he was choosing rubbish music, and James couldn’t help his grin because he had his head in Regulus’ lap, and Regulus was casually drawing his fingers though James’ wild hair whilst sipping from his beer.

“We should go for a walk,” James murmured quietly. As he spoke, there was a sort of patter on the roof, letting the all know the rain had begun. Regulus looked down at him with a quirked brow, and James shrugged. “I’ll keep you warm.”

Regulus’ cheeks pinked, but no one was paying any attention to them, and eventually he shifted, holding a hand up for James, and they rose. Sirius was on his belly now, arguing over some specific bit of transfiguration, and James took the opportunity to seize Regulus’ hand and sneak out the door without being noticed.

He quickly cast the impervius charm over their clothes, which didn’t save their hair from immediately going soggy, but Regulus was still holding his hand, and they were half-walking, half-running toward the water. 

They kicked off their shoes, the smooth rocks beneath them not totally uncomfortable, a bit slippery, but Regulus led them straight into the shallow sea, and James grabbed him, tugging him tight the moment their feet hit the chilly water.

“Reggie,” he breathed, brushing back Regulus’ hair which was now sticking to his forehead. 

He grinned, shaking his head. “This is mad, you know. I’ve never…I’ve never really even been outside the house. Now I’m at the bloody sea with a bunch of wizards and I feel like…” He shrugged, tipping his head back to the rain. “I feel like I could actually be free. Away from…from everything.”

“You can,” James said, grinning so wide at the sight of the teen who was all-but glowing. “Fuck, Reg. I just…” When Regulus looked up, grey eyes so wide and bright, James cupped his cheek. “I fancy the hell out of you.”

Regulus looked almost startled. “You…I…I mean. You…do? Me?”

James couldn’t help his laugh, then he brought his face in close, lips brushing over Regulus’ ear as he whispered, “Yeah. You. Just you.”

When he pulled back, Regulus was bright red, even in the shallow light of the waning moon. He turned his face, bravely, toward James, and let his thin fingers come up to brush along James’ jaw, down his neck, over the collarbone exposed by the rain. When grey eyes met hazel, James dipped his head in low, his lips brushing over Regulus’ cheek as he spoke.

“I’d quite like to kiss you, you know. If you’d like.”

Regulus stiffened, then clutched his fingers into the back of James’ shirt and tugged him tight. “Please,” he breathed. “Please, please.”

James ran the pad of his thumb over Regulus’ bottom lip, then dipped his head low, and their mouths met. It was gentle, not too hurried, not to forced. James knew Regulus hadn’t been kissed before, and he wanted him to remember it with all the tenderness and love building in the space behind his ribs that seemed to be reserved just for this teen.

When they broke apart, they were both a little breathless, and Regulus was still holding on as though his life depended on it. James cupped him by the cheeks again, and Regulus closed his free hand over James’.

“I’d like to make a go of this,” James whispered. “Because I haven’t felt like this about anyone before. And I know I have another year of Hogwarts left and I know you have your parents to deal with but if you’d have me…if you’d wait…”

“I’ll wait,” Regulus gasped. He tugged James closer, in for another kiss, and when he pulled away, he had a slight smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. “However long you need me to, I’ll wait.”

James held him tight, even as the rain continued to piss down on them like the beginnings of Noah’s flood, and he felt content. It felt right. And when he pulled back to look at Regulus, he realised he might have only been seventeen, he might have his whole life ahead of him, but he knew this…this right here…it was forever.


End file.
